A few days ago, I sat down with a friend to hear her vent about life, prompted by an unusual sadness that gripped her that day. In response to my inquiry, she revealed that her mother-in-law and husband’s family taunt her, labeling her love as a means to access their wealth. This society, she lamented, distorts her sincerity into selfishness.
These revelations left me astonished at our society’s perspective. Is it a crime for a poor girl to love a wealthy boy? Is it a sin to harbor a desire to marry a particular person? Can a poor girl not marry a rich boy without being accused of selfishness? Is this the justice of our society? Why does our society label this girl’s loyalty as a quest for money when Islam acknowledges no status differences?
I am disheartened by our society’s belief that if a poor boy marries a rich girl, he is perceived negatively. In-laws often worry about providing a dowry if the bride comes from a less affluent background. Another misguided notion is that bringing a poor girl into the family means supporting her parents with the son’s money.
It raises the question: Do all girls harbor negative intentions? Are they all selfish, marrying into wealth for financial gain? Certainly not! While acknowledging the harsh reality that some girls are driven solely by a desire for money and a better lifestyle, it’s essential to recognize that not all girls share the same motives. Some are genuinely sincere, seeking love rather than material wealth.
Undeniably, selfish individuals contribute to the negative perceptions in society. However, the broader narrative must shift. Sincere girls should not bear the brunt of the sins committed by the selfish few. Their authenticity should not be overshadowed by the accusations of selfishness. If a couple is sincere in their commitment, society and families should support their decision instead of unfairly labeling them.
It’s crucial to foster positive thinking and respect everyone’s choices. If the couple finds happiness in their decision, it deserves acknowledgment. Wealth and poverty are Allah’s providence, and we should refrain from mocking or disrespecting a girl based on her socioeconomic status.
Note: Ranaz serves as the exam controller at KIPS College and is an active blogger on gender and social issues.