In a society like Pakistan where conversations about intimacy and pleasure are frequently kept aside, a 32-year-old married woman spoke about her experience, underscoring the importance of pleasure and consent in married relationships.
"Like men, we (women) also like intimate relationships, which have great effects on their lives. When she is in a healthy intimate relationship, she is happier," she said. She, however, also draws attention to the flaws in Pakistani society, where a lack of mutual understanding and consent prevents many women from experiencing intimacy to the fullest.
Studies support her assertions, showing that consent and pleasure are essential elements of good sexual experiences. In a publication, the Guttmacher Institute highlights the importance of communication and consent in sexual relationships. According to the piece, consent is a continuous process that needs constant communication and mutual approval between couples rather than a one-time occurrence.
Additionally, it underscores the significance of pleasure in sexual relationships, emphasizing that prioritizing pleasure can result in full and satisfying sexual experiences and that pleasure is a crucial component of sexual well-being.
According to a research article, marital satisfaction is a critical aspect of life for Pakistani women, influencing their life satisfaction. It has been estimated that more than 90% of the world’s population will get married at least once. One important factor that influences how well a marriage adjusts and is satisfying is sexual satisfaction.
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Research on women's sexuality, particularly outside of Western contexts and notably in nations like Pakistan, is still rare, despite a rise in studies on male sexuality and its psychosocial effects. It is challenging to investigate the connection between sexual processes and marital satisfaction in Pakistan due to cultural and societal constraints.
Despite being a vital component of human growth, many societies like in Pakistan continue to ignore the topic of sex education. Comprehensive sex education has been linked in research to better outcomes for sexual health, decreased stigma, and increased relationship satisfaction.
Jannat Fazal, a psychologist points out the value of sex education in enhancing relationships and sexual health. She emphasized the importance of having open conversations about sex, breaking cultural taboos, and communicating expectations in married relationships.
"It's very important to have sex education because it's not something that we have talked about as much as we need to," Ms. Fazal stated. In our society, we don't get to learn about sex from anywhere and we have preconceived ideas about it. Married couples should be aware of these aspects to maintain their expectations and enhance their sexual well-being.”
Ms. Fazal addressed the significance of overcoming myths and cultural taboos surrounding sex. These taboos frequently prevent men and women from being open and personal with one another. They will feel more comfortable sharing their needs if there's a safe space to talk about it, and that's crucial for their relationship, their sexual health, and their satisfaction in their married life.
Social media is becoming a potent instrument for raising awareness and advancing education on a wide range of issues, including delicate and taboo ones like consent, pleasure, well-being, and sex education. Social media platforms have given activists and educators a wide audience to reach and the opportunity to interact with individuals from diverse backgrounds.
Prominent activist Mehrub Awan has been using social media to spread awareness for these topics by creating interesting and relatable content. Her use of characters and storytelling has allowed her to simplify difficult subjects into knowledge that is easy to understand, and this has been well-received by her audience.
“I introduce localized characters and settings - for example for this particular series the main educator is titled "Bio Wali Miss" and she has three student characters in the class all played by me and each with her quirks. This makes the series fun and relatable - I also use local stories and examples that ground the series in Pakistan.” Said Mehrub Awan
According to Mehrub Awan, in Pakistan where bad sex education is already rampant among quasi-religious scholars and preachers. There is a religious hegemony over discourse on sexuality which makes relatable and relevant information hard to come by. She wanted to plug that gap.
In Pakistan, religion has a big influence on the values and norms of society. However, the misuse of religious teaching in the context of marriage has resulted in the disregard for women's consent and needs as well as the continuation of damaging gender stereotypes.
The religious scholar Mufti MaazHamdard addressed the value of showing courtesy to women and mutual consent in intimate moments. He said, "Allah says to be kind to your women in the Quran." He stated, "When Allah says to be kind to women, it means considering their needs and desires and being gentle with them in every aspect."
Mufti Hamdard emphasized the value of consent by saying, "When engaging in personal moments, it's crucial to have mutual consent. If it is men's need, it's also women's need. Anyone who imposes or forces their will on another does so out of one's self not because of religious belief.”
"Healthy relationships are the backbone of a healthy mental, physical, and social life," says Mehrub Awan. "However, we frequently maintain negative dynamics by controlling our partner's body and transferring our fears onto them. Healthy sex education, however, can empower and provide us the ability to change negativity for compassion and understanding."
Jannat Fazal discusses the value of open discussion in enhancing sexual health. "It's essential to have a safe and respected space where partners can discuss their desires, explore new experiences, and set priorities." She stresses the importance of education and knowing how things operate to manage relationships effectively.
Ms. Jannat highlights the value of establishing priorities, making time for emotional and sexual intimacy, and getting help from a professional when needed. “If things don't work out, and the sexual relationship isn't as desired, or there's a disconnect, seeking guidance and assistance from professionals can provide valuable support.”
