Few days ago, my aunt gave birth to her fifth daughter. When we visited their house with joy that they have received God’s mercy in the form of a baby girl, we saw a strangely disheartening atmosphere there.
Every person in the house sitting next to my aunt and her new born girl was expressing grief instead of happiness.
Again it is a Daughter
“Again it is a daughter”, this phrase was being repeated frequently. The astonishing thing was the way the sentence was being said, reflecting regret, while other ailing sentences thrown like arrows were the following.
“There is a queue of girls in their house.”
“There are so many expenses of girls, how will they be managed?”
“If no boy will be born, then tomorrow who will support them in their old age?”
“It is hard to know about the fate of girls…”
Subsequently, here I want to ask a question that whether only girls come to this world with a pre-defined fate while boys don’t or do boys don’t have a fate? And can only boys support their parents in old age, not girls?
Girls supporting their parents in old age
If we talk about supporting parents in old age, I believe that whether it’s a girl or a boy, both can manage this task with efficiency. If proper training is done, girls can also make their name and position which will be a matter of pride for the parents, therefore, one should be happy with the birth of a girl instead of making faces.
Children are granted to man by Allah, He gives daughters to whom He wills, He gives sons to whom He wills, and He gives both sons and daughters to whom He wills, and He does not give anything to whom He wills.
Alas! Another daughter is born?
Sadly, we live in a society where the birth of a girl child is frowned upon only because of the fear of her fate. This is the difference between the fate of a boy and the fate of a girl which starts with their birth, however, no attention is paid to who is associated with their fate, what causes the fear and who is responsible for it?
When a son is born, sweets are distributed whereas when a daughter is born it’s a woe moment. “Again, it’s a daughter”, this phrase gets engraved in the chests. Not only this, but the husband of the woman and his family literally become outraged with the mother that why she gave birth to a daughter, why not a son? Who will earn for the family in future? Because of these things, most women suffer from depression.
Key for the fate of girls
Once I asked a friend, “If you want to give me a prayer, what will it be?” to which she replied that “my mother always says that we should pray for the better fate of the girls, so I will also pray that God opens your fate for you.”
Like fate is a closed door which needs to be opened and for that a good man is required. If the man is good, then the door of fate opens briskly but if he is not good, the girl will remain under disgrace.
I was also forced to think that why only girls are given prayers for their good fate and why no one prays for the fate of boys? Do boys don’t have fate or they do not need prayers for their fate, while they themselves are considered the key of the girls’ fate.
Whether it’s a boy or a girl both are granted by God. Both are born with their own fate, therefore, they should not be differentiated on the basis of their fate.
One should not feel dignified on the birth of a boy and humiliated on the birth of a girl. Daughter is a blessing not a burden. In the house, a girl should to be given the same respect and place as the boy. The birth of a girl also needs to be celebrated with the same zeal and zest as the birth of a boy is celebrated.
Both are humans first and based on gender different from each other later, then why differentiate? Daughter and son both are the blessings of God and respectable in this regard.
Have you ever made any effort to sort out this issue of gender discrimination or even thought of bridging this gap?
Raynaz is a teacher and exam controller at KIPS College Mardan and also blogs on gender and social issues.