Overcontrolling parenting, also known as authoritarian parenting, is becoming a rising concern for mental health professionals. This parenting style is characterized by strict rules, little communication, and the absence of emotional freedom for children. Such an environment can have long-lasting negative effects on a child's self-esteem, decision-making abilities, and overall mental well-being.
During an interview with TNN, B, a young graduate from N, shared his personal experience with overcontrolling parenting. He explained how his parents’ strict behavior affected his ability to communicate and make decisions. "When I was a child, my parents set strict rules that I had to follow, even if I didn’t like them. If I said I didn’t like something they bought for me, they would say, ‘It’s not your choice, it’s ours,’ and I had to accept it," B said.
He added that this behavior made him suppress his emotions over time. "I couldn’t express my feelings, and now, as an adult, I still struggle with communication. I feel hesitant to share my thoughts in class or with friends because I’m afraid my opinion will be wrong," he said. B also shared how he was isolated from social activities. "I wasn’t allowed to play with friends or go on school trips. This made me feel disconnected from everyone around me."
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B explained that his parents’ control over his decisions led to self-doubt. "I couldn’t make decisions for myself because my parents always made them for me. Now, whenever I have to make a decision, I doubt myself," he said, adding that the strict environment made him feel alone. "Sometimes I felt so frustrated that I thought about running away or ending my life."
TNN also spoke with Clinical Psychologist Alvina Zahir Khattak, who works at the Shafique Psychiatric Clinic. She explained that overcontrolling parenting falls under the authoritarian parenting style, which is one of four main parenting styles. "In authoritarian households, there is little room for children to express their opinions or negotiate. This can lead to low self-esteem, poor decision-making, and in some cases, mental health issues like anxiety or depression," Psychologist Alvina explained.
She added, "If children are not given the freedom to express their emotions, they become frustrated. Over time, this can lead to depression, anxiety, or even personality disorders." She emphasized the importance of balancing parental control with emotional support. "Parents should allow their children to make decisions, express their feelings, and learn from their mistakes. This helps children develop self-confidence and emotional health."
She also recommended therapy for both children and parents affected by overcontrolling behavior. "Psychotherapy can help children rebuild their self-esteem, and in severe cases, medication may be required. It's also important to educate parents on how to create a supportive environment where their children feel safe to express themselves," she said.
In conclusion, Psychologist Alvina gave her message to all parents, especially those who exhibit overcontrolling behavior towards their children: "Give your children space to express their thoughts. Allow them to express their emotions and make their decisions freely. Always maintain two-way communication with your children. These steps will help them develop into confident, healthy individuals," she added.