Home Blogs,Women Rights A funeral in a Bridal Carriage!

A funeral in a Bridal Carriage!

she said, "I don't want to get married; I am doing it on the insistence of my parents."
by TNN Editor - 04 Apr, 2023 1624

Sadia Bibi

It was not long ago when all of our friends in college were singing songs and dancing together. It was a rehearsal. In the next few days, a dear friend of ours was tying the knot. We were so lost in the merriment that nobody noticed when the teacher came. But when the teacher did come, everyone froze, as if ice had frozen, our mouths were closed, and it seemed as if there was no one in the room! A pin-drop silence was there, if a needle would drop, its voice could be heard.

We were afraid, standing still. The teacher said sarcastically, “Well done! That is what can be expected from you guys. Do this task at your weddings, now is the time to read, so read, these fun things can be done later." I said, “We are preparing for the wedding. In a few days, this princess of ours (pointing towards her) is getting married."

The teacher laughed and said, “Good! Then you guys are making preparations. Girl... Congratulations to you!” But my friend did not even respond to the teacher's greetings, she just stood on one side with her head bowed. I felt very strange. Then I thought that maybe she was worried, I wanted to ask, but then it went out of my mind. Later we sat together and chatted.

All the friends were sharing their thoughts about what they would do at the wedding. The princess was also visibly happy. Or maybe she was trying to make herself look happy. Looking at her face, it seems that she was also happy. But I felt like there was something wrong. Well, I was also very happy, and why not, because that was the marriage of one of my dearest ones.

Finally, that day came. I started getting ready in the morning. It wasn’t the preparation; rather there was a tension in the house as if that marriage wasn’t hers but mine. I spent my day walking around like crazy, picking up something and throwing it away.

It was evening when I got ready, did my make-up, beautified myself in every way, and went to my dear Baba and said, "Take me there."

When Baba saw my glory, he jibed and said, "Oh! You are dressed as if the marriage is yours and not hers. I also immediately replied, “Baba! It will happen to me too; right now I have to go to my friend's wedding." And then we both laughed.

We sat in the car and reached the hall in no time. When I stepped into the hall, I felt as if I had stepped into another world; everything looked very beautiful, and everywhere I looked, there were lights. The whole hall was decorated with flowers, there were people everywhere. Everyone was busy hugging and talking to each other. And what… A variety of songs and all my friends danced together to the tunes! Seeing all this made me happy to the core of my heart.

First, I went to the room to meet the princess. She looked very cute, I hugged her and sat beside her. But I, ignorant of my friend's state of mind, did not know what she was going through. I found this very confusing and frustrating.

Shortly before leaving, a tear like a pearl fell from her eye, there was the end of her patience, and she said, "I don't want to get married; I am doing it on the insistence of my parents." I said you should have told your parents. The answer was, "I can't say anything to my parents, I never spoke for myself, but I did hope that they would certainly ask me, but I was not given that much right."

How sad it was for my friend that a woman sitting in front said, "Is this your husband, you two are of no match!" She should not have said that. I don't know how easily we talk like that. It was not about a marriage of a choice, she didn't like anyone but she didn't want to marry him either.

Her parents should have asked their daughter at least once. This is the right of a daughter that neither we have given her, nor anyone else, but Allah and His Messenger have bestowed upon her.

Marriage of choice is allowed, Islam teaches it, rather than commands it. Although, we are not talking about a marriage of choice here. It is about the right that my friend should have enjoyed because it is her life that she has to live, not her parents. Granted, parents can't think badly of us, they want to do everything good for us. But it is also a fact that some decisions of parents make children forget to smile. If one forces one's body to sit in a “doli” (bridal carriage), then she becomes a living corpse and not a bride, and it is a funeral and not a procession.

Nikah is not just a combination of four letters. Marriage is an obligation, a pledge of loyalty; to oneself, with a partner, and between two families. If their daughter gets married to a good man, they get a son; otherwise, they lose their daughter too.

Ask your daughter's will, especially in an important decision like marriage, it is necessary to know her well, get her married according to her will, and ask her permission, her likes, and dislikes, so that tomorrow your daughter sits in a doli, and be carried in that carriage from your patio being a bride, and not her funeral alive!