Noor Zia

Once, a woman confided in me about her husband’s relationship with another woman. When she confronted him about ending that relationship, he defended himself by saying, “I provide you with good food, clothes, shelter, and we have children. Why do you complain?”

In my opinion, this doesn’t necessarily mean he is in love with the other woman. If he were, he wouldn’t fulfill his responsibilities toward his wife and family. Instead, he maintains this relationship because she remains a mystery to him.

The day of marriage signifies a commitment to stay together until the end of life. For this reason, I consider marriage to be one of the most sacred relationships, providing identity and security. However, it’s disheartening to see many couples who are unhappy in this supposedly prestigious bond. Why is that?

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After pondering this issue extensively, I have come to a conclusion. While not everyone may agree with me, it is important to respect each other’s opinions even when we disagree.

The primary reason for couples’ unhappiness is humans’ innate attraction to mystery, the allure of the unknown. We are naturally curious beings, and this curiosity can lead to unfortunate situations.

Over time, after getting married, people may lose interest in each other because the mystery becomes unraveled. Psychology even acknowledges that falling out of love after marriage is quite common. If this is considered normal, then why do couples often suffer from depression?

I acknowledge the importance of change and growth. However, these changes and evolutions are acceptable in other aspects of life, not in relationships. Once married, individuals should strive to be steadfast, consistent, and committed to each other throughout their lives.

Unfavorable relationships not only affect couples but also impact future generations. The traumas resulting from unfavorable parental relations can be deeply ingrained and difficult to heal.

When I emphasize being persistent and consistent, I don’t mean that couples should behave like robots or lose their individuality. However, it does mean that having extramarital relationships and dismissing the partner’s concerns by saying, “I provide everything” is not acceptable.

In addition to providing food, clothes, and shelter, the most vital elements in a marriage are love, time, respect, and attention. Couples expect these qualities from each other. The root cause of all unhappy situations is often extramarital relations.

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