The Hidden Widows and Orphans: The Silent Struggle of Families Left Behind

Have you ever seen a widow whose husband is alive or an orphan whose parents are still living? We often define widows as women whose husbands have died and orphans as children who have lost their parents.

Have you ever seen a widow whose husband is alive or an orphan whose parents are still living? We often define widows as women whose husbands have died and orphans as children who have lost their parents.

She had been unwell for a long time, so she went to Peshawar to see a doctor. Upon arriving at the hospital, she found a large crowd of patients already waiting. She sat on a nearby bench, waiting for her turn. Like her, many other women were waiting and discussing their ailments. Most of the married women were accompanied by their sons or sons-in-law, with very few accompanied by their husbands.

After waiting for two hours, her number was called. Only the patient was allowed inside unless they had trouble understanding the doctor's instructions, in which case an additional person was permitted to accompany them. She entered the examination room, which had three chairs, a bench, and a stretcher. Two women were already seated, and another was lying on the stretcher, explaining her illness to the doctor. The doctor, who was very polite and soft-spoken, listened attentively and comforted the patient after the examination. Witnessing this, she felt relieved, much like a drowning person clutching at a straw.

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When it was her turn, the doctor greeted her warmly: "Yes, Mehreen, my child! Tell me your problem." As she began to explain, the doctor quickly understood her condition. "You’re perfectly fine," the doctor reassured her. "It’s just that people have made you believe you're sick." The doctor added, "I want to see Mehreen succeed, not become a perpetual patient."

After her examination, the doctor attended to another woman from Bannu. The woman began listing her ailments, to which the doctor responded, "Bibi, why are you so worried? You're more depressed than sick." As Mehreen tied her shoelaces, the doctor asked, "Mehreen, do you know what an orphan is?" Mehreen replied, "A child who doesn’t have a father or mother." The doctor continued, "And do you know who a widow is?" Mehreen answered, "Yes, sir. A woman whose husband has died." The doctor then pointed to the woman from Bannu, "Isn’t this woman a widow, and aren’t her children orphans?"

Mehreen looked at the woman, who had a helpless smile on her face. She recalled the woman mentioning that her husband was in Saudi Arabia. The doctor explained, "Yes, she hasn’t seen her husband for five or six years, nor have her children seen their father." The reality of the woman's situation began to sink in for Mehreen. She thought of all the women in her village whose husbands lived abroad for years, leaving them to face every problem and illness alone. She saw the orphans among the children who lacked their father's love and care.

Mehreen remembered her father saying that her grandfather had advised his children, "Never marry your daughters to someone working in Dubai or Saudi Arabia. It robs them of their youth." She realized why this was true, as many families in her village had members working abroad, leaving their wives and children behind for years. These women often suffered from various undiagnosed health issues, their youth fading into old age without their husbands by their side.

In her village, many women were suffering from common but debilitating diseases such as fertility problems, high blood pressure, mental health issues, diabetes, and joint diseases. These illnesses, though common, consumed them from within.

The thirty-minute conversation with the doctor revealed a profound truth that took Mehreen days to fully understand: why so many people from her village went to Saudi Arabia. Some went seeking opportunities, others driven by the hope of earning more money or escaping poverty.

In conclusion, Mehreen urged parents to equip their daughters with the jewel of education instead of collecting dowry, so they could become independent and live with their husbands, not merely supported by them. She also emphasized the importance of raising sons to understand their responsibilities, preparing them to shape their futures without stumbling.